An Apology to My Fur Baby

It occurred to me, while I was doing the dishes tonight, that there is absolutely no way in preparing your family pooch for a new addition to the family. There are lots of kids books written to get soon-to-be older brother and sisters used to the idea, excited at the notion that they will be a role model to someone younger than them. I even read articles before my son was born where dog owners had trained their pooches to alert them when their little one needed a diaper change! That sounded kind of fun!

Sure we had people suggest the typical stuff you hear: before mom and babe come home, have dad bring a blanket or the hat off the babe so they can get used to the scent. Others would just say how they were amazed how quickly their furry baby moved to the bottom of the totem pole as soon as their little one arrived.

I was not concerned in the least about losing touch with my pup. In fact, I thought it was practically neglectful to lower her rank in the family. But I was wrong - and it wasn’t until tonight while I was cleaning, she caught my eye as she lay curled up on the couch, monitoring my every move from afar, quietly sulking, sighing, waiting for me to show an ounce of interest. It broke my heart.

You can’t prepare your pup the way you can a young child. To them, one day you are their bestest friend, the next day you, being their main strolling companion and meal preparer, go rushing from the house in a panic, disappear for a few days, and return, with your arms full. And your arms remain full until finally, may it be 4 and a half months later, you look up as you’re doing your dishes and catch her puppy dog eyes in what feels like forever... 

For the first time in 4 and a half months I got down on the kitchen floor and snuggled and kissed and smelled my pooch. And I talked to her and I made some vows to her. I vowed to stop and pet her more first and foremost. I vowed to be more patient and forgiving to her and her beaver-like thumping tail. I vowed that one day the 3 of us would be a team, hiking daily for hours along the hydro trails (a girl can dream!). That I would work up to the Super Mom status – you know, be Young Mom you always see while driving, power walking up the hills dressed with her power walking jacket, hat, gloves, sunglasses, pushing her enthusiastic tike in his giant chariot stroller, while her giant fur baby walks proudly beside her.

But I also asked for her forgiveness, and a little bit more time to get my shit together. And because she is so loving, so patient and loyal, I know she will forgive easily – as long as I remember to stop and snuggle her every now and then. Because if I don’t, she has made it very clear, she has no problem helping herself to my shoe collection.

Enjoy the journey, and the walks... S

Frogs & Snails & Puppy-dogs' Tails

Where do I even begin? I have put this blog post off for so long because SO much time had passed that the whole idea of writing something, reconnecting, seemed quite overwhelming to say the least. But I have to start somewhere, it’s time to get back on track... so here I am.

Hello... how have you been? Me, how am I, you ask? After I left you hanging with the announcement of my pregnancy, and then nothing?!?! (I’m so sorry!) I am fine thank you. Actually, I am more than fine. I am over the freaking moon.

In July, I gave birth to our baby boy and our lives have not been the same since. Husband and I have fallen in love all over again with this new little person. But it’s a deeper kind of love that I never would have expected. It’s this from-the-deepest-part-of-my-soul-my-being love.

And can we please talk about the fact that we had a BOY?!?! I was half convinced we were having a girl because, well, I'm a girl! (makes sense, no?) AND according to my girlfriend and a tried and true "wives tale" – all of the hair on my body had stopped growing, literally, my freakishly hairy arms were bare and the gorgeous "pregnant hair" I was anticipating just sat stunted on top of my head – this my friends meant I was having a girl! 

But since my Son's Birth Day I have been consumed with nothing but thoughts and dreams of jumping in puddles, Blue Jays baseball, hockey leagues and basically all things blue (yes, I know that's not necessarily only "boy stuff" but right now, for me, it is). Seriously! And I absolutely love it. This is a surprise to me only because I’m quite girly - but from the first day I jumped on the band wagon and have not looked back. Ugh, pink schmink!

So I guess this is my re-introduction. Here we are, at three and a half months of age. Son is napping peacefully and I’m ready to get back on board with what I love... What better time than now to just Stop? Breathe. Take it all in. 

If I could freeze a moment in time it would be the feeling of my Son breathing, sleeping, cooing in the nape of my neck. To me, this is Life, this is my oxygen, my being now and forever. And you? What makes you want to stop the hands of time, to appreciate Love and Life?

Enjoy the journey... S

I'm here for good

So here’s the thing… I’m not someone who just decides one day that she’s going to write a blog, posts some entries, then gets too busy with “life” and forgets about her commitment, her Big Idea. No, no, very much on the contrary. I have been thinking about this very post for approximately 11 weeks now. I’ve been dreaming about this moment – because it would only be too good to be true and because it seemed like such an impossibility at the time… and I could finally explain my absence from the cyber world.

If I remember correctly, the last time I wrote I was well on my way of starting my first 5-day juicing cleanse – and I could NOT wait to tell everyone about my results. I was SUPER excited to be doing something so detoxifying and just for me, hoping to rid my body of any nasties I’d accumulated over my 32 years! (Yes, I realize it would take more than one round of juicing to accomplish that!) But as Life would have it, It had other plans for me… and my husband…

It’s no secret in my close circle of family and friends that Husband and I have been trying to start a family of our own for over a year. In fact, the cleanse was intended to be the “kick-off” to a healthy round of baby-making fun. I’d already worked up to 4 solid days a week of following a vegan diet, something that rewarded me with astounding results of health, vitality, and all round well-being (more on that in another post!).

We’d had our first miscarriage almost a year ago, we mourned, I healed physically – I’m not sure you really ever get over something like that. I’d had my surgeries (I’ll spare you and myself), I’d finally finished up my follow-up appointments, things were healing, Mother Nature was slowly getting back on track, and my uterus was finally anything but “hostile.”

As luck would have it (as well as having wonderfully devoted fertility doctor monitoring my every move) Husband and I conceived on our very first attempt back “in action.” Needless to say we were not expecting this to happen. I don’t think I ever expected it – hence my planning a juice cleanse right around this delicate timing in my calendar.

It’s interesting: I’d had no way of knowing if I was pregnant or not but as I filled my fridge with bottles of freshly juiced fruit and vegetables something inside was telling me not to go through with the juice cleanse just yet – to not to essentially starve myself (well really “you know who”) until we were sure. So we waited, and I drank the juice as snacks throughout the following days… and it was about 7 days later where a blood test at the doctor’s office confirmed what I’d dared myself to believe for a secret moment in time, while filling my fridge with those bottles of freshly juiced fruit and vegetables. We were in fact pregnant. (sshhhhhhhhh!)

Enjoy the journey... S